Christian Family Adult Son Smoking Pot Do I Kick Him Out
What Tin can We Practise to Assist Our Adult, Drug-Addicted Daughter?
We have a thirty-yr-erstwhile daughter addicted to drugs and alcohol. She recently lost custody and is supposed to accept supervised visits with her son, who is 7. He lives with his dad who lets him go over there and spend the nighttime fifty-fifty though the courts have said NO. We no longer take a relationship with our daughter, we dont help with annihilation. She lives in a rent free apartment with her drugie fellow, gets food stamps and doesnt go along a chore for more than 2 months at a time if she works at all. We are not enabling her, but the system is. Why doesnt she have to be drug tested to receive these programs?? I take to, to keep my job, no wonder she doesnt modify. What can we practise? she wont go to rehab or become whatsoever help ... we are lost. - Frustrated Father
Love Frustrated Father,
Give thanks you for your question. I'm sorry to hear about your painful state of affairs. Information technology'southward so difficult to run into someone we love self-destructing in their habit. Even so, it sounds similar you accept done all you can in not supporting her financially and refusing to enable her in whatever way. I know you lot accept been through a lot already, but I have 2 suggestions that might help salvage some of the stress you lot are currently experiencing. First, I highly recommend that your entire family and circle of friends get some support. Addiction has a traumatic effect on everyone in the family, even those family unit members who are not living in the same house with the person struggling with the addiction. Only being able to "vent" with other people who can relate to your situation will provide a dandy deal of relief for you. Expect for a counselor who is familiar with addiction and/or consider attending al-anon meetings. Y'all volition be able to go some practical suggestions, and you volition be able to detect emotional support too, to accost that "lost" feeling you refer to. Too with the aid of a counselor, you can brainstorm to address any anger, remorse, anxiety or other emotional feelings you are experiencing. This blazon of support will besides help regulate your own physical and mental health, which is at greater take chances of dysfunction because of the stress you are under. To detect a counselor or therapist, brainstorm by contacting the nearest drug/alcohol handling eye, or hospital that offers such a program; these facilities should have social workers who can offer suggestions. Or maybe you can search for a therapist on this very website.
Secondly, I want to address the effect regarding your grandson. I'k concerned that even though the courts have said he can't visit his mother, his father is disregarding that decision and providing visitation. Someone needs to make sure the male child is non being exposed to any risky or shady situations when staying with mom, especially considering that both mom and her beau are actively using. Hopefully mom remains fully cognizant during his visits, and I don't mean to propose she isn't — but addiction is a wild card, and if the youngster is being exposed to whatsoever hazardous circumstances (i.e., mom and beau are too "high" to watch after him while he'southward there), then those visits should terminate immediately. If you have reasonable suspicion the boy isn't safe, and your son in police force refuses to have appropriate activeness, then yous might demand to contact your local child protective services or the courts and inquire about your options – y'all can do then anonymously in most cases, if only for advisement.
You might as well, if you wish, occasionally let your daughter know that it's her addiction you dislike, not the good person underneath, as a reminder that y'all're willing to reconnect if she seeks assistance facing her problem. That is if y'all feel comfortable doing so; and information technology is perfectly understandable if you do non. It'south just that, stressful equally these situations are, coming from a position of honey while holding proper boundaries can sometimes suspension the ice – if, of course, the struggling person truly wants help. I hope your daughter does get assist, sooner rather than later. Thanks again for writing.
Kind regards,
Darren
Darren Haber
Darren Haber, PsyD, MFT is a psychotherapist specializing in treating alcoholism and drug habit as well equally co-occurring issues such every bit anxiety, depression, relationship concerns, secondary addictions (especially sex habit), and trauma (both single-incident and repetitive). He works in a variety of modalities, primarily cognitive behavioral, spiritual/recovery-based, and psychodynamic. He is certified in centre motility desensitization and reprocessing (EMDR) therapy, and continues to receive psychodynamic training in treating relational trauma, including emotional abuse/fail and physical and sexual abuse.
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Source: https://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/dear-gt/what-can-we-do-to-help-our-adult-drug-addicted-daughter
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